I'm sure many of you have heard the analogy of natural birth being the equivalent to running a marathon- I'd like to quote the source of this little gem I've copied below but I can't remember where it came from- if you know please comment :)
You will hear many women say they are going to “try” to have an unmedicated birth. To me, “trying” connotes sheer effort and endurance. What I hear women say when they say “try” is that they are just going to see how long they can stand the pain. My dictionary defines “to try” as “to make an attempt or effort”. What happens when you try something? Either you can succeed or fail. There’s a lot of derisive talk out there about birth plans and women who “plan” an unmedicated birth – or really plan anything about their birth at all. There is a lot of finger-waving about how birth is unpredictable and you can’t PLAN anything. After seeing a lot of births, I have to say I agree. My dictionary says to plan is to “decide on and arrange in advance” – you can’t really do that with your birth. What happens when you plan something? Maybe your plans work out, and maybe they don’t. What I wish more women would say, and take ownership of, is that they are preparing for an unmedicated birth. My dictionary says ” to prepare” is “to make ready or able to do or deal with something”.This sounds just about right! Someone who is prepared does not fail or have plans not work out – they meet what comes with their goal in mind. They have made themselves ready to handle birth and any twists and turns they might meet on the way. I encourage women to think of birth as a marathon – it is long, challenging, sometimes painful, sometimes exciting, and can be very rewarding. Many people regard having run a marathon as difficult, but very rewarding and a huge achievement. However, if you knew someone who told you that on Saturday they were going to “try” to run a marathon, you’d probably look at them a little askance. You’d start asking questions: “Have you practiced? Did you read up about marathons and long-distance running? Do you know anything about the route?” What would you think if they said, “I’m just going to start running and see how long I can stand it. There will be people along the way to tell me where to go.” You might have some more questions for them. “Don’t you think that at some point you’re going to get exhausted and want to quit? If you haven’t prepared, how will you have the resources to keep going? Wouldn’t you like to know something about the course – where the steep hills are, where to save your energy, where to expect things will be tough?” If this person then tried to run a marathon, and dropped out at mile 10, or had a miserable time, and then told their friends how horrible marathons were and how stupid someone would have to be to go through that awful experience just to prove they were “tough”…wouldn’t you be skeptical about their opinion? And yet that’s where we’re at in a lot of ways. Many women see unmedicated birth as some kind of test that you pass via sheer endurance and “feminist masochism”, as one doctor in “The Business of Being Born” puts it. There’s often a vague, generalized perception that drug-free is “better”, but without much clear understanding of the actual risks of drugs. If you “try” to have the unmedicated birth and “fail”, then you have a lot invested in trying to convince people that this “test” is silly and has no bearing on your strength, motherhood, or womanhood (a position I agree with completely). I think many of the birth horror stories and dismissive “just take the epidural, honey, you’re gonna need it” comments that pregnant women hear come from that place. On the other hand, if you approach natural birth with the mindset that this is a rare and challenging event that you would like to fully experience, with interventions available whose risks you’d prefer to avoid, you can prepare for it. You can take classes, read, and find good coaches and support systems. You can remain flexible and open to changes in the situation. Let’s ditch this whole “trying” thing and switch to “preparing”.
I wholeheartedly agree with this! Let me just say- I despise jogging/running, I would collapse into a heap even in elementary school when made to run cross country every fall and have never found anything enjoyable about the activity. But, if motivated to, or challenged perhaps, to a serious long distance run such as a marathon, you'd better believe I would be prepping for this. Would I be scared? Hell yes! Nervous that I might not make it to the end? Um, believe it! Willing to show up hungover on the day of with a never worn pair of sneakers to give it a go? NOPE.
I started reading about pregnancy and birth choices a few months before actively trying to get pregnant. Thankfully I stumbled upon a post that mentioned how difficult it was to get into the Montreal birthing centres, so I knew in advance to call before the pee on my pregnancy stick had dried. I definitely feel that being in a place where I felt comfortable and where there were people supporting my choices (and of course, no epidural unless I wanted to transfer to the hospital!) helped tremendously in my having the natural birth that I wanted. Not everyone is able to make that choice- of giving birth where they feel best- or they are not comfortable with the alternatives that are out there. That is a whole other issue that needs to be discussed in another post. But, the place of birth is only one aspect that can contribute to or take away from the birth experience. I WILL take credit for the reading, researching, soul-searching, talking to my fellow women and natural birthers and gathering a support system of people who would help me with my vision. I knew that even if things didn't not go "according to plan" that I was still going to look back and know that I did everything I could. Just like a runner who trains for months and then in the end, doesn't run their best time, or has to stop because of a pulled muscle or falls into a pothole and sprains their ankle (?!) at least they know they tried, and prepared and used every resource out there to achieve their goal.
Personally, it just wasn't really an option for me. Once I took it out of the equation for myself, the idea of drugs during labour never really crossed my mind.( Ok, maybe for like one tiny half second when I was in transition I remember saying, "I can't do this! If I were at the hospital right now I can totally see why someone would take the epidural!" ) But, really, other than that moment it just wasn't part of my thought-process. I understand that everyone has a diffierent "plan" for their birth, and for some, this means letting the idea of an epidural hang around in the back of their mind throughout pregnancy and early labour or even putting at the top of their List of Ways I Will Deal With Pain. But, if you want a natural birth, if you really truly WANT a natural birth- then preparation for it might be the best place to start, don't you think?
Thanks for reading.
Megan
Here's a link to a great post by my teacher and mentor Lesley, who inspired this post:http://motherwitdoula.blogspot.com/2011/05/mental-toughness-approaching-natural.html
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